"Decide the friends, mentors & leaders you want in your life, in your inner circle, and court them with emotional generosity. Make it matter." ~ Gary W. Goldstein
Deciding who we have in our lives is a question we must face ourselves and challenge it. The term 'popular', meaning, 'someone who is liked my everyone' is a facade that we will someday learn or even have learned, that never actually exists.As we grow into adulthood and learning who we really are, keeping a close group of friends is not an easy task. The challenge of trying to figure out who your real friends are relies on many factors including trust, responsibility, maturity and morals, Do you want to be around people who are always talking about other people? What if they are talking about you when you are not around? It is almost a guarantee that people who are always talking about someone else in a negative manner when they are with friends, are the same people who will have something to say about you. While this is very hurtful, it is life. You may not be able to change or stop someone from continuing this behavior, but you can chose to walk away from them.
In our society, it is a constant phenomenon to always be surrounded by or pressured to engage in drinking and partying to try to 'be cool' or 'be social' like 'everyone else'. Do you want to be around people whose main priority is to constantly party? To chase that next drink or high? Friends like these may seem fun in the early stages of your adult years. As you grow, level up and realize what should be prioritized, it can be a very negative environment to be in as a friend to someone who does this. It is so easy for people who party even during the weekdays and every weekend to become addicted to alcohol and other substances. Excessive partying can lead to addiction, alcohol poisoning, drinking and driving accidents, overdoses and even death. While you may want to be there for someone you care about who is facing an obstacle like this, it is very difficult to try to change or even persuade someone to change or to take accountability for their behavior. If you are friends with someone who is an addict, what is they are driving the car with you as a passenger and both of your lives are lost? It is too late to go back in time and make the hard but responsible choice if they do not accept help themselves.
Keeping a close group of friends will always be optimal over a large group of friends who you can't trust, rely and create positive memories with in your life. If you ever struggle with finding out who your real friends are and who you want in your circle, do not feel alone or overwhelmed. It is almost guaranteed that your true circle of friends in your life will change as you become older and go through life. It is natural to realize who you want to surround yourself with and who you do not. It is natural to want to be more and receive more out of your life.
Never let anyone stop you or convince you otherwise!