STEPHANIE BROWN
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Setting clear boundaries

2/8/2022

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Intention is everything. 
Ask yourself, Have you ever said yes to something you didn't want to do to please someone else? Have you ever allowed yourself to be treated with less respect than you deserved because you were afraid or uncomfortable with confrontation? Or have you ever been put into a situation where someone tried to push against your own morals and beliefs? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may not have strong or clear boundaries as an individual. You may ask yourself, "Aren't I fine just being who I am?" or "Why does it really matter if I do or do not?" 

Setting and having clear boundaries is an important part of self love, care and development. It is imminent for our own self growth to learn from any situation we did not like and learn from it.

Setting clear boundaries can look like this 
  • Letting go of people who make you feel unworthy or unloved
  • Letting go of people who drain your energy and time
  • Saying "no" to doing extra work for free for your job
  • Saying "no" to plans that you do not want to do
  • Not letting someone bend your morals or beliefs to please them 
For many people, setting strong and clear boundaries sometimes gives them the fear that they will lose someone or  coming across as mean or rude. Sometimes people can be fearful of creating strong boundaries because they are used to a cycle of never putting themselves first or always wanting to please others. While it may be difficult to set clear boundaries, boundaries show that you love and respect yourself. They also show that you will not be treated less than you deserve. 

You may have had friendships or relationships that did not work out in your favor because you did not have clear boundaries set. You may have let others walk all over you, pleased them whenever they wanted, been there for them over and over again...but did not do those things for yourself. I know I have. This can show someone you work with, a friend, family member or partner: that you do not have a strong respect for yourself. The Golden Rule states that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. If you have self respect, self worth and know what you do and do not like, people will respect you back.

If someone cannot except your boundaries or tries to push you on them, hold the door wide open for them. It is critical to know that you are worthy, enough, and deserve the very best. At the end of the day when all you are left with is yourself, you have to keep telling yourself these things and believe them.

​Setting clear boundaries may take time, but is imminent to protect yourself, grow, and respect yourself. 
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